Day #4

I’m in love with Daria.

It’s the best show I’ve ever seen. So much so that I even purchased the season set. That’s a massive level of commitment – especially for me. I barely watch TV as it is but Daria tugs on my heartstrings. Rampant satire just makes me go nuts.

Atlanta’s tomorrow. Then it’s studying and certifications and a new career and maybe a defined path to my life. For once. The gym awaits once I’m back from Atlanta. I’m excited for that too.

Who would’ve known that I’d go from deep in my depression to going places and living and learning, making friends and connections, rising above the squalor I subjected myself to. It was a struggle… but now it isn’t.

Day #2

Sometimes I still think I want him. And then I realize I really don’t. That’s when it ends.

You can feel it when it’s happening. They stop texting you as often. The enthusiasm leaves their voice. They leave you on read. Like sand leaving your grasp, an hourglass turned over.

A relationship. You wanted a relationship. The dreams are vivid at first but as the sand grains flow they turn grayscale and lose detail.

You begin to feel like an acquaintance when before every aspect of their life was known to you. Shared like you belonged.

I think it’s a graceful end.

Resolute

It’s 2018. A new year, new beginnings.

I think it’s time to make significant change in my life. I can do so much more and be so much more.

Here are a few of my resolutions (in no specific order as they are all equally important to me):

  • I want to journal everyday. I want to hone my writing skill and get comfortable with expressing myself in the written word again.
  • I want to get more comfortable with myself and as such I’m going to take a picture of myself everyday.
  • I want to start bulking up. Physical fitness is just as important as mental fitness… not that I’m mentally fit in any real fashion.
  • I want to read everyday. From just a few pages to an entire chapter.
  • I want to go back to college. Education is key to my success.

I’m going to stick with all of those resolutions as closely as I can. I want 2018 to be the best year of my life thus far.